Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 10, 2008, at 9:04:43
In reply to Talking about weight in therapy, posted by Daisym on May 10, 2008, at 1:16:05
> I know I've been quiet. I read but can't seem to stay awake to write coherent replies. I guess being injured is really taking it out of me. But it is more than that.
((((daisy)))) you rest up and be gentle with yourself. Let your body dictate what your mind can deal with, okay?
>
> He gently asked me if I'm afraid to create desire in men. I guffawed...me? I *don't* create desire in men - I'm so careful to be neutral. I'm not a threat to women and men don't see me. He asked me if I'm afraid to feel my own desire - what happens if I feel sexy or flirty or attractive? That isn't how I see myself, at all. He talked about how some people who have a history like mine use weight as a shield - they don't want to attract any attention at all. I need to think about this.
>That's exactly what I was trying to express in my thread above. Well, my T wasn't exactly gentle about it. It was more one of those piercing observations and then he monitored my reaction. You know what I'm talking about? I have experimented with wearing more revealing clothing and I feel like a slu*. I wish I didn't carry this cloak of blubber around, but it is a safety belt, a costume, as you mentioned.
I have talked about weight several times in T. Once about a year ago when I was on NutriSystem and losing weight. My T was happy and he was congratulating me. then I gained it back. Then I was complaining about gaining weight, and he said "but you didn't have any problems losing it before, you seem to lose pretty easily" I told him it was hard work. Physically hard, and psychologically harder.
> Is this really something I can work out in therapy? I wish I was invisible.
try though we may, we are human, and we take up space. I think this *is* something that you can work on with your T. Hell, if I can admit to binge eating, you can talk about how you miss wearing heels. Start small. Don't bite off more than you can chew. You'll be okay. I know you will survive this too.
I was so sorry to hear of your injury. we miss you around these parts. I want you to heal so you can wear those heels (guffaw) and when you're ready, you'll join us again
hugs,
ll
poster:LlurpsieNoodle
thread:828305
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080508/msgs/828319.html