Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 23, 2008, at 7:49:23
In reply to less reassurance, posted by sunnydays on April 22, 2008, at 22:35:11
> So my T doesn't think it's good to reassure me as much anymore -Huh? That is what they are supposed to do!
that doesn't mean he won't do it, but less, like at the end of session he'd do it but in the middle if I say something like, "Do you still like me?" he'll say something like, "It sounds like it's scary to think that I don't like you."
That is psychobabble. The direct answer would be: yes....no, etc.
We talked about it today because it's making me feel not cared about, and he said that he thinks it's better not to be quite so transparent in his reassurance, that we are entering a new stage in therapy.
What is that supposed to mean?!
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> But I don't like it. And I am sooo mad at him, and so sad. And I just feel helpless, which I've told him, because he can do whatever he wants and I can't do anything about it. And why does he get to just decide something?Exactly.
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> I know that lately it's also been hard because we've had a couple misunderstandings. But I told him that it feels like he keeps taking things away. And then I said, "You're probably going to say that's not it, but it *is*." And he said, "No, I'd probably feel like something was being taken away too."Then, if he understands that.....why is he doing things to cause you pain?!
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> It's just so hard. And I called and wanted him to call me because I was so upset, but he called when I was out and said he would call me after 10pm when he was back from some evening engagement if I wanted him to, to leave him a message and let him know. And I just didn't want to bother him having him call that late and he'd probably be tired, and I didn't want to risk my feelings getting hurt on the chance he forgot to call, so I called back and said never mind.That is so sad and so hard....I know.
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> But it just is so so so so hard. I said as I was leaving, "Do you believe me that this is really really hard?" And he said, "Yes, I believe you. It is really hard, but you are doing a fantastic job. But I understand it's hard."
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> So he gets it but he doesn't all at the same time. And this hurts so much.Incredibly frustrating and confusing; i would ask him to explain all the things that you don't understand, and KEEP asking until you get it.
If your pain, is because of what is stuff about you, then that is one thing; if it is pain, because of what the t is doing and saying, then that needs to be addressed with the person CAUSING you pain---the T!!
>
> sunnydays
poster:sassyfrancesca
thread:824898
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080423/msgs/824933.html