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Re: sorry i disappeared..got sick..had flashbacks » star008

Posted by muffled on December 22, 2007, at 18:07:32

In reply to sorry i disappeared..got sick..had flashbacks, posted by star008 on December 22, 2007, at 14:45:27

> Got a terrrible flu. blah..it is hard to be sick at all but for people like me it can be a bit more challenging.. I don't have many defenses when I am sick.. had flashbacks and saw things, heard things in my head.damn it was not a fun time.

**Llurpy got this stuff...um, I think..zyprexa mebbe? that is a sort of a quick acting AAP. Wonder if that'd help in these times?
Sorry you had such a rough time. Maybe its something to consider if you struggle badly mentally when sick? Its always harder when sick, but you seem triggered by sickness...

>I wish i didn't feel so f..ed up all the time.. i tell myself I am not a big loser.. I really am not..

*OH my T would be so proud of you for refuting the loser comment! LOL!

>have a good job, nice kids, a home of my own, (ok so the bank owns it,lol)..Still i feel so screwed up and the future doesn't look so bright to me.. I see more of the same.

*sigh. That sucks. I still have the ability much of the time to have hope that things might get better some. Sometimes I lose hope. But I would say I am hopeful to some extent more often than not. I hope you can find some glimmer of hope sometimes...

>And why is it that it is okay for me to be in pain day after day.. The T and the P-doc accept it as a fact of my condition. " Aw.. that's hard for you, blah blah blah"."Make sure you take care of yourself, blah blah blah"..Daily physical pain wouldn't be acceptable, would it??

*ROFL, sorry, but my T sends me kind emails when I struggle, and one time I cut and pasted all her kind words in a mail back, and said "I DO NOT HURT" I not so sure what it was about, but I KNOW I get pissed at platitudes sometimes too. I spout them myself at people, and I MEAN them, and my T proly does too, just in small bits I find it OK, but too much just annoys me. My T keeps saying its a journey.....arrggghhh....Its just so hard to describe what its like this sh*t. And for me, its like childbirth, I forget how those really painful moments actually felt, as soon as they have passed.
Now *I* am rambling!!!!ROFL!!!
See ya,
M


> Okay,, I am rambling now.. thanks for listening.

*well personally I love a good ramble. SO GOOD to see you back.
:-)

 

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