Posted by JoniS on August 16, 2007, at 0:31:20
In reply to I opened up but he pushed me away :(, posted by wittgenstein on August 15, 2007, at 19:56:58
Witti
Sounds like a very difficult session. I see exactly why you're frustrated. He definitely had some trouble handling your feelings for him. When you were open - as he encouraged you to be - I don't think you "took it too much to heart" You did just what he encouraged you to. I see why you feel hurt, but I don't think he meant to trivialise your feelings, I think he just didn't know the best way to respond. Sounds like he is just a little inexperienced in that area. There was probably some countertransference going on. His comment regarding the 'line' could even have been his attempt to say you are normal, this has happened before - because it can be a normal response in therapy.
I see why you would leave there feeling hurt and confused, I would be struggling with those feelings too in that situation. But - I don't believe he was trying to punish you for the feelings that you shared with him. He should be able to handle this much more positively and unconditionally than he did. To me it sounds like inexperience with the comment about 'side effects' and also since you said he seems to sometimes prefer discussing travel & art instead of feelings.
Maybe if you felt OK about it it would be good to take in your post, for him to read or for you to remember what you need to talk about with him. Hopefully he can handle it better than the last time. If he gets defensive or in any way not tender and understanding, then he really has a major deficency in his ability to provide therapy & counseling.
You did not do anything bad, or wrong, or anything to feel ashamed of. What you shared deserves respect and a caring, validating, genuine response. You didn't get that, he made some mistakes. Hopefully he can redeem himself next time.
Be good to yourself. You deserve applause for the strength & courage to share with him, and also here.
Take care
Joni
poster:JoniS
thread:776504
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/776560.html