Posted by gardenergirl on August 10, 2007, at 15:32:54
In reply to Re: I am NOT a Liar afterall!! » DAisym, posted by B2chica on August 10, 2007, at 15:03:01
I'm glad you are finding your T helpful and validating. That's so important, especially when doing such painful and difficult work.
I agree with what the others have said about memories. They really can get mushed up, and then it does feel like there's something wrong with "us" and what we are saying, believing, feeling, if it's not "exactly right".
In my case, I had a similar insight about my father and my grandmother a few years ago. I've always dreaded going to see them, but I couldn't exactly articulare why. It just wasn't pleasant to be around them, mainly. Those feelings never got validated by anyone else, and I felt "bad" for feeling and thinking negatively about my family. Then I had the opportunity to sort of observe their behavior with some emotional distance, and I realized that they really are sort of hateful, critical people a lot. I was hit with an overwhelming relief that it wasn't just "me", and I hadn't imagined or exaggerated any of it.
I've had similar experiences when talking about early memories. When my mom or someone would "correct me", I always began to question what I knew. I finally realized that what I remember is what I felt. Maybe I didn't interpret the event properly, but at 3 or 4, maybe I wasn't likely to anyway. But it was still important enough to remember.
Anyway, I can imagine to some extent how validating and perhaps freeing to some extent it is for you to be validated as you were. I'm happy for you.
Take care,
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:775259
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/775320.html