Posted by B2chica on August 10, 2007, at 11:37:14
I'm NOT a LIAR!!
ok...i'm feeling SO much better about my memories.
had a nice talk with T yesterday.some of what i told my old T, later i felt almost sick to my stomach because i felt like i lied to him...it just DIDN'T "feel" right...at the time it did, but a few months ago when i started thinking about stuff again...i feel like i 'lied' about one incident that happened, yet part of the memory was very real.
well, i think i realized that the memory was real BUT it was the abuser that was wrong, it was just a different person...i blamed one but i think it was the other and THAT felt right.so i was trying to tell her that its hard for me cuz i feel like a liar sometimes because i have these "snipit's" of memory but nothing else, and sometimes its like they're just a big GLOB of memories, that i can't really decipher one from another...thus making me feel like i'm lying about all of it cuz i can't pinpoint anything.
She said that she read about trauma theories and that there is trauma1 and trauma2 and that one happens once and those memories tend to be Very Specific and lots of detail (say like an earthquake or something). where as the other is multiple or over years and the memories tend to blend together....
Man, i can't TELL you how good that made me feel to hear her say that! and that's when i told her that, i told her it was good to hear it and then i told her about the last memory i told old T, the main reason i didn't want her to see old file...i didn't want have to say oh by the way, i dont think that last parts true...i think i made it up.does anyone else have these issues with 'memories'. that it's like a big glob and you can't decipher one from the other??
b2c
poster:B2chica
thread:775259
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/775259.html