Posted by OzLand on June 9, 2007, at 21:14:08
In reply to Re: hard to leave... » OzLand, posted by sunnydays on June 9, 2007, at 11:02:28
> I mean, I know theoretically it's good to be attached, but I just don't understand why. It feels so painful in the moment that it doesn't seem like it could possibly be good. I know it's what lets us go so deep and what lets me even be able to talk at all, but boy is it hard sometimes!
>
> sunnydaysI agree with Honore wholeheartedly. To answer your question above, well we can't really experience deep joy without also knowing about deep pain as they relate to relationships. It is good because you will be able to take away a sense of your T as who he is, and you will begin to see that you are a whole person who can handle both intimacy and pain.
I am cheering for you as I try to accomplish something akin to this in my analysis.
I am so afraid of letting anyone get to know me and have never really felt close to anyone. Intimacy scares the hell out of me; unfortunately, pain and loneliness have been old friends. I am really scared to let him know me as it will mean intimacy on a different level. I had a therapist some 25 years ago who I saw as a father, and when he went away on vacation for 4 weeks, I did not think I would make it. Over time, I could feel myself getting stronger, and I could keep him in mind even when he was gone. It does happen.
My fear now with my new therapist/analysit is having sexual feelings for him. We meet twice per week, and I have met with him for one month now. He is so good looking and seems to be able to read my mind. Not really, but he asked me if I was afraid of having sexual feelings for him (we are pretty much the same age), and I can't believe I said yes. I was so embarrased. But it is what it is as they say.
Take care, and hang in there, sunnydays.
poster:OzLand
thread:761923
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/762066.html