Posted by jammerlich on May 31, 2007, at 13:23:39
I tried today, and had to leave still feeling like she didn't get it. I am so frustrated. Maybe you guys can look at it and tell me if it makes no sense, or try to word it a different way, or explain it with your own experiences. Anything at all, honestly!!! I need help!!!
We were talking about what happened before when I walked out and then she wouldn't let me come back and I was trying to explain what some of my fears are. I told her I remembered her telling me that if anything ever got to be a problem (like I was doing something wrong, or something was getting in the way of our work together), she would talk to me about it before it got to be a really big deal. And I said that after the experience of seeing her the first time, I just didn't trust that would really happen.
As an example, I mentioned how she originally talked about me seeing a general practitioner for antidepressants. But, the last time we talked, she said I had to see a pdoc for a full evaluation and take whatever he/she suggested. And there was never a time in between where I felt like she explained this could be a reason we couldn't work together anymore. I mentioned that another reason she'd given was that I was "too ambivalent about therapy" and how we'd never, ever discussed that before.
She didn't really touch the ambivalence stuff at all. She just explained what she "might have been thinking" when she said general practitioner vs. when she said pdoc. And my thought was, "Ummm, OK....but we didn't TALK about it like you PROMISED." I just didn't feel like she'd heard me. Does it sound to you guys like she did?
So, then I used an example from Tuesday about my discomfort in seeing her more than once each week because I'm afraid that, at some point, it won't be OK with her anymore. She said Tuesday that she hoped we'd be talking about it. Today, in trying to explain all of this, I told her I'm not confident that we would. I'm afraid it'll be like hitting a wall again. And then she explained how what she'd meant is that, right now, it's a given to her that we'll meet a couple of times a week and that what she was talking about was if I called and asked for a third (which I've only done once, btw, and that was because we'd had a particularly helpful session and I'd wanted to continue the discussion). Ok, soooo NOT what I was looking for.
Anyway, I feel like she just didn't hear. Do you guys think she did? How else can I explain this?
poster:jammerlich
thread:760595
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/760595.html