Posted by Honore on May 8, 2007, at 16:48:05
In reply to Crying. Help me., posted by ElaineM on May 8, 2007, at 14:04:41
Hi, Elaine.
I wanted to affirm Racer's post that you're one of us and you never have to apologize or feel bad about not posting for a while-- or about posting when you feel terrible and are asking for help.
There's a lot of strength here and we get that strength from you whenever you're here, even if you're feeling awful. Just the fact that you trust us a little, and believe that people here have something to offer. I know that's one of the most important contributions anyone can make-- that you're here, and that you reach out, over distance to let someone some small difference in how alone you feel-- and in doing that, do the same for each of us. Maybe you don't know that you do that.
I don't understand what happened with your Lady T-- there must be something, quite possibly not anything that you did-- but something-- that altered how comfortable she feels-- But whatever it is, it's not your fault. You did nothing wrong.
You're doing the best you can, under extremely difficult circumstances, to keep going, and do the right thing with your T and others, and to get through this hard time. No one can do more than that-- even if sometimes it feels that it isn't enough. It is.
I also agree with Racer's idea that you should write back to the Lady T and ask straight out, that she explain what has caused the change in her, and also that she promised you confidentiality, and that promise is not something she has the right to take back. A promise is a promise-- you confided in her many things, on the belief that her word meant something-- and she has no right to betray your trust-- and her promise-- now.
I'm sorry this came out of the blue and is so hurtful.
But maybe if you let her know that that promise was like an unbreakable contract-- something you can't change after the fact-- she'll come to realize that it's too important and must stand.
And maybe if you understand what her thought process if here, you'll realize that it isn't you-- and that she's not discarding you, but trying, perhaps not in a helpful way, to protect you in some way that you don't now understand.
Honore
poster:Honore
thread:756826
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/756872.html