Posted by sunnydays on May 7, 2007, at 22:36:03
I am so tired of this. I felt so confident for a whole week this past week, and like I really could handle my life and things have been moving in a positive direction in therapy. But now I feel like I'm going backwards. I got angry this week and expressed it instead of bottling it up, which is kind of a first for me. I also have made some huge insights about how I interact with people - I realized someone in my group reminded me of my mother based on a reaction I had to something she said/did. I just have been moving forward in leaps and bounds in the past two sessions. But tonight I feel so sad and back in the little girl part that thinks that being angry is bad and something bad's going to happen to me.
My T is so nice to me, and he keeps saying that that's because there's no reason not to be. I really feel like he's been in tune with me the past couple sessions. Except that I feel so fragile and I wish he could save me. I don't know how to sit with and tolerate my feelings. I'm trying so hard.
This post is rambling. I just don't know how to put the little girl part aside and go back to feeling confident. I liked that feeling. My T says it's my defenses coming back trying to pull me into the sadness because it's what I've always known and I have to try to put it aside if I can after I acknowledge it. I just don't know how.
This is all a big jumble of thoughts, but if you made any sense out of it or want to post something that might help me feel free. I feel really vulnerable and need all the help I can get.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:756686
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/756686.html