Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on April 18, 2007, at 19:26:14
In reply to Re: Today's Session » jammerlich, posted by Honore on April 18, 2007, at 13:49:10
Jammer I wish I could give you a hug in real person. You were used and it's not fair that you became the one who had to deal with the sh*t that happened because a man didn't really figure out who he was before he made a big committment to you.
He has dishonored you. but that doesn't tarnish you.
There was some connection there. something that caused you two to connect and make that commitment together. It's not all poison, just because it ended this way.
My T said something to me recently that might be relevant to you. She said that being denied the chance to love someone can cause a lot of anger and suffering.
Your husband being gay denies you the chance to love him as you once did. You don't trust him and you question whether you ever loved him. Whether you can ever love in the future. You can and you will.
I wish I could skip over the intermediate steps too. my T has to explain to me at least once a week that my expectations are unrealistic and that these things take time and that I shouldn't put myself under so much pressure to make something happen when it's just not time yet. On the other hand she says I shouldn't be so hard on myself when inconvenient things come up in therapy and life. That I didn't "cause" a flashback to occur. that it occured right now and right here for a reason, and that she's there with me to process it now, because that's when it needs to be processed.
Remember that there is sangria for you, even if you're not done done done. even if you're still in the middle of the muck. there's a place for you to be you. and that's all that matters. just be you, okay?
-Ll
poster:LlurpsieNoodle
thread:750897
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/751150.html