Posted by littleone on April 14, 2007, at 22:34:50
In reply to ......sigh..... transference, posted by LittleGirlLost on April 14, 2007, at 19:19:33
Hi littlegirllost, it was nice to see your name here again.
I could be wrong, but it sounds like in a way you are waiting for you T to make it better for you. In this post it sounds like you are sitting and pining away for your T until the next time you can phone/see her. Note that I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I'm just asking if that's what your actions are.
I can't tell you what to do, or even what would best help you. But I know that for me things only improved when I learnt to accept that my T can't do this for me. That *I* have to comfort and nurture that young part.
It was (and still is) so heartbreaking to accept that. And it was really hard to carry out. I kept wanting him to rescue me and make it all better and nurture me like he would his own daughter.
One day he even told me that it would be easy for him to give me the comforting and nurturing I wanted. It would be so easy for him to do that. But that by *not* doing it, he is demonstrating how deep his caring is. That it is kinder and more healing for him to not do it and make me do it myself.
It took a long time and a lot of learning and trialing and investigating to learn what sort of things help my young part and what don't. I'm still learning now.
But I sit here now and can tell you that without a doubt I am coping with the feelings so much better now. Much better than if I was relying on my T to make things better for me.
I'm not sure if that will apply to you, but I wanted to share my story with you in case it helps (although I'm sure it would be very hard to hear and accept). I would like good things for you. Take care.
poster:littleone
thread:749868
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/749912.html