Posted by gazo on April 6, 2007, at 13:42:03
In reply to Re: feedback on letter to T? » gazo, posted by Daisym on April 6, 2007, at 11:24:09
Oh god no, it wasn't too much about you at all. i'm getting a lot out of the stuff you're sharing with me and i see a lot of myself in some of what you are saying.
> Schema therapy has been around for awhile and I think its roots lie way back with Winnicott...i haven't been able to find anything that relates it back to Winnicott... can you point me to anything? i see psychodynamic related back and i do know that schema does use some PD approaches, is that what you mean? From what i can gather it's primary roots are in CBT and gestalt. COrrect me if i am wrong.. honest cuz i want to understand.
"..Schema therapy draws on the cognitive-behavioral, attachment, psychodynamic, and emotion-focused traditions..."
Because so many of us come in strongly independent it feels really scary to connect to someone and Lord help us, to want that connection. It sounds like your therapist is willing to work with this process, but the "I don't want you to become dependent" comment throws me a little. I'd bring it up and ask he what he meant.what he said exactly was "..we want to be careful of you becoming dependent.." i'm pretty sure it was that.
does your T practice schema or psychodynamic?
PD T's operate a little differently don't they? From the stuff i am reading schema is heavily weighted on CBT, but delves into root causes as well. It doesn't put things as strongly into early childhood necessarily either, which i appreciate. i had a good early childhood actually. The stuff which i feel "damaged" me happened much later.of course, my understanding is just that and based on what i am reading. i could be wrong.
But this is a long term process - years, not months, and many people can't stay in therapy that long, so avoiding the dependency, because there isn't time to work through it, can be smart.
just about everything i find about schema talks about it being flexible, so it can be long or short depending on need and the weight put on various aspects. i have been getting the impression that it is midrange and that is what i expect. i don't know if he wants to keep it from becoming long, or if he feels it would be counterproductive for me or what. i do know that everything about schema i find talks about "limited reparenting" and even then only if absolutely necessary. It is the key point of contention against it from other disciplines. So maybe that is it. Maybe he doesn't agree with that aspect.
what i do know is that i am highly likely to become dependent and quickly. That part is a long story. You were right about hearing part of me wanting to need him, but it isn't a little girl. Not at all. That much i know myself and have had reaffirmed through the limited therapy i have had. i need to be able to relinquish control to a degree and that involves some dependency.
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> Someone very wise on this board told me a long time ago that therapy would begin to work when I started to trust that my therapist knows how to do his job.hahaha... that had occurred to me, but i am such a perfectionist and i have control issues Lol! It bugs the crap out of me to feel he may see me in a light other than what i want to project.
>I am one of those people, like you who reads everything, I work in human services and next week I finish a fellowship in ECMH.
Congrats!!! :o)
So I'm learning all kinds of theraputic theory and technique. I started out wanting to make sure he didn't do anything "to me" that I didn't recognize. And then I wanted to fix myself so he didn't have to. And then I wanted to avoid all the typical client mistakes and boundary crossings so that he would like me and not leave me. It was exhausting to be so hyper-vigilent.
ah hypervigilence. That is me. Oh boy that is me. It's not rocket science to understand why if you knew my history. i've moved through a lot of the fix-myself stage to a point where i know i can no longer think myself out of where i am at. i have done what i can do alone. i am smack dab in like-me-don't-leave-me.
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> He put up with all of it and would even talk theory with me.That is a point i do make in my letter. he didn't talk down to me and he did talk theory with me. It is important to me. Not because i don't want him to "do" anything to me though.. it's more about giving me credit for a)having a brain b)for the dedication and work i have done on my own and will do with him. My pdoc talks to me on HIS level and we work very well together. i research medications and present why i should try them and sometimes he reads it and agrees. It's empowering.
>" I grinned and said, "ah, I love it when you talk therapy to me!"
i always break into a wide grin when they hit a nail on the head, esp when it something i had not thought of. It's just humbling and funny to me. i want to be in the loop because eventually i will be on my own and will do better if i have the tools to understand and solve my own problems.
>The reason I'm telling you this is because if you tell your therapist how much you know and what you read, he might be able to incorporate it into your sessions. AND, he can help you watch for tendendies to fix yourself and take care of him.
another thing i read said that CBT-S puts emphasis on education, so they encourage clients to read about the process and technique. i think it makes perfect sense and i'm going to do it anyway. i have done enough research papers to know how to use and understand journal articles. Right now i could probably start writing a paper about schema technique! Hahaha!
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> I don't know if this makes sense, I hope it isn't too much about me. I just see myself a little in you and hope to help. When is your next appointment?
>
as i said, i am getting a lot out of this. i would appreciate any tips, pointers and info you can share. Links to schema info would be great. i see myself in your descriptions too. :o)my appt is monday @ 2. i only have every second week because it's already more than i can afford. :o( It might become impossible because after next week i won't have a job. There are some options to continie therapy.. but i am reluctant to take them
yet. we shall see.thanks for putting so much time and thought into responding daisy.. you're giving me a huge amount to work with.
poster:gazo
thread:747258
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/747565.html