Posted by sunnydays on April 3, 2007, at 20:20:42
In reply to child abuse triggers » Happyflower, posted by Happyflower on April 3, 2007, at 20:05:57
I'm very sorry you feel that you haven't received the support you want from people here, Happyflower. I can kind of identify with what Orchid is describing - when I am happy I tend to forget the bad parts of life or I spend the time waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I'm not sure the answer is detaching for me - I have a lot of unresolved issues still. To me, it sounded like Orchid was talking about a mindset that I have found a lot in meditative thinking - when a bad thought passes through your mind, instead of latching onto it, just observe it and let it pass through. The same with happy thoughts. It's incredibly difficult to do, but when I try, I find it calming.
I don't think anyone was saying what you are feeling is not normal. I certainly think it is perfectly understandable and normal. It was just a suggestion from Orchid - you can take it or leave it. Just because someone posts a suggestion, doesn't mean you must follow it. I find it valuable here to get the perspectives of many different people. I don't always agree with them, but I appreciate them taking the time to think about me and my situation. I think it shows caring when people take the time to write a post to someone.
It sounds to me like maybe -- and I don't know you so I swear this is only a maybe -- that you still identify a lot with the abuse and are still very angry about it. You have every right to be angry, and I have experienced abuse and I know that anger a little bit, although I'm not quite at that point. But it seems to me like the anger would ideally diminish a little when one has fully worked through their abuse issues. Sort of a, yes this happened to me, but I'm not going to let it affect me anymore, even to be really angry about it. I could be way off base, though, because I'm nowhere near that point. As my T has said to me, "For the abuse to go away and to stop thinking about it, you have to be ready to let it go." I'm really glad you are happy, but it seems like you still get triggered fairly easy to me, so (and this is only a suggestion, nothing else) maybe you could work on this a little in your therapy. Ideally I think the triggers diminish when abuse is worked through.
I'm really hoping this doesn't offend you, and I will admit your post triggered a reaction in me to some old issues that I know I have, so I've tried to make sure I'm not reacting from there in anything I've said here.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:746529
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070324/msgs/746669.html