Posted by wishingstar on March 6, 2007, at 20:44:24
In reply to Re: appt with T today, posted by scentedgarden on March 6, 2007, at 17:27:58
> I'm sorry to hear that... and i'm not very good at this shring advice on here but i just want to offer support and any comfort i can from my own place of hurt... if that makes sense!?
> >***yes, that makes sense. thank you. it does help.
>
> This is a bitch and i know it probably hurt you lots... Mine told me she is disappointed in me, and don't trust me no more>><< so i can understand that feeling, and your exprerssing it aas sarcasm, becasue you are hurt... and I'm sorry I really wish I could make it all better for you Wishing star..!!
> >***I dont think shes a bitch. I think shes feeling lost. I think she feels clueless as to how to help me. I think shes frustrated. But it was a little hurtful that she didnt have more confidence in me. I wanted her to say "good job", not "I'm surprised". But I know she didnt mean it to be hurtful, and it really wasnt that big of a deal.. just.. eh. Not the ideal response.
> **God almighty that rings so true... you know.. we do probably talk more than is needed about others... and when i THINK OF ALL THOSE APPTS i THREW AWAY CHATTING ABOUT OTHERS INSTAED OF THE REAL ISSUE, IT'S SO PAINFUL.. Now i'd ive anyhting to have those appts back again, but no body told me that therapy worked that way..! there was no guidance in how to do it right... KNow what I mean??... thanks for sharing this with us..
> >***I do know what you mean. And I'm sorry you had that experience. It's hard.
>
> I hate it when they think we are playing games... BUT I BELIEVE YOU!!! AND I ALSO THINK YOU MADE A VERY WISE CHOICE... any Dr. in their right mind would never have asked you to continue on a new drug with side effects as such... NOT one!!! and yet therapist seem to just miss the whole bloody point sometimes..! what can I say..??** Yeah, the doctors on call at the hospital this weekend werent very good at all. They kept trying to force anti-anxiety meds on me, no matter how many times I refused them. I never did take one. I wasnt feeling anxious. And they tried to give me a sleeping pill the first night I was there without even asking if I wanted it. I refused. I dont have trouble sleeping, so why take a pill for it?
My therapit hasnt always been like this. Thats why I think shes just feeling frustrated and helpless and who knows what. Up until a few weeks ago, she was wonderful. I liked her a whole lot and I was SO happy to have found her. But yes, we're having issues recently, but I think they go deeper than the issues we're discussing, like the meds.>
>I don't know if my reply is a help .. I'm kinda new at this and I'm hurting so much right now myself.. I was given some tranqualizers for severe agaitation in the last few weeks and they make my heart race while knocking me out and making me drowsy.. I crashed my car a little twice, exploded my washing machine, and bumped into things hurting myself, and other things i cant remember right now...anyway - so I know what it's like to get new meds and not feel well from them... But they did knock me out which I needed !!! ... PLease will the Dr. prescribe you some nre and better agreeable meds in place of this..? I hope so, but if not it certainly sounds as though you're doing the right thing by staying off those ones..!!
> >
***Yikes.. I'm sorry to hear you're having so much trouble with that med. Maybe you need to talk to your dr again. That sounds dangerous.>
> Maybe it will be better at the next appointment.. maybe the connection is not lost completely... I don't think it's your fault that the connection is gone but i don't really know..!! PLease don't hurt about it... if you can please be kind to yourself... as Im sure she isnt hurting that much... just as my T aint at home crying over me...(9 what a foolish thought of mine )
> >
***I know she's not at home crying over it. I do think shes worried. And I know shes frustrated. But I can handle that. And I do think a big part of the reason the connection is gone is because of me and my pulling back from her once she said twice-a-weeks were over. But I really just feel too hurt and too vulnerable to do any better with her right now. I'm trying.>
> Quiting therapy is hard.. and maybe it feels that way for you now, but hey! you have a hterapsit willing to see you once a week.. forgive me but thats the most I ever saw mine in 4 yrs was once weekly , and so i just like you to know that lots of good work CAN be done even once a week..!! I'd give anyhting right now to have those weekly appointment s abck, BOY WOULD I MAKE THE MOST OF IT, if i had the chance to do over>>>> and I did feel supported by it, and we did lots of really good bonding, and CBT, and transference and counter transference... we did it all on a once weekly routine...Maybe you can try it... as it's not so bad really, the weeks begin to fly past.. and before you know it the day to go to therpay is in the next day again..!
> >***I've been in therapy on and off for about eight years, and up until this past Oct, I had never done anything but once a weeks either. So I definitely have expreience with that. For me, it just doesnt work as well.. and thats especially true now when I'm feeling so desperate and having such a hard time. For me, the weeks never just flew by. A week feels like an eternity. Even the few days between seeing Ginny twice a week feels like an eternity sometimes.
> well if she knows , then surerly she will tell you why she is only offereing once weekly... she will surely discuss it all with you Wishing Star...
> >**She has told me why. It's not personal.. it's an administrative decision shes made for the entire agency. Shes the director. I think its about funding. But knowing that doesnt make it any easier.
Thank you for all your kind thoughts and wishes scentedgarden. I'm trying my best and it helps to know I'm not alone.
poster:wishingstar
thread:738775
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/738835.html