Posted by wishingstar on February 3, 2007, at 21:22:57
In reply to Why can't I talk? (long...what else is new?), posted by peddidle on February 1, 2007, at 20:34:15
Pediddle, I'm sorry if this post is a little odd, I'm very tired and a bit confused tonight, but anyway...
I dont think I have much to add about the benefits of writing things down, but I do the exact same thing and I agree with what everyone else posted. I'd recommend trying it. If you do it once and hate it, you dont have to do it again.
Part of my problem though is that I'll write something, bring it, and then never give it to my T. I had a conversation about a month ago with her about how hard it is to talk, writing, etc, and asked her if she'd please ask me at the beginning of every session if I have anything to give her (a paper). That makes it a little harder for me to keep it in my purse.. it'd require lying instead of just pretending it isnt there. One of my problems is "how the heck do I barge in and hand her this paper"? But her asking has solved that. Admittedly, it's been about a month and I never did bring anything until just last session (and now I have to face the results on tues... I gave it to her at the end). But somehow just having her ask has helped me open up. She has also started asking directly at the beginning of sessions if there is anything I need to talk about, because I have trouble bringing things up myself out of the blue. Often she'll also ask towards the end of the session or at the beginning of the next if there was anything else I wanted to say on that topic. It helps - it's like her holding up a stop sign and saying "ok, wait - what else?" and it stops me from just letting the conversation flow past something that was important. She's happy to ask those things and didnt seem to be put off at all by me asking. I dont know if itd help you or not, but maybe it's worth a try? If nothing else, a conversation about the very issue you're writing about here (it being hard to talk and what you can do to fix that) might bring up some interesting things. Or maybe you've already done that - I apologize if that's the case.
Another thing my T said she'd be fine with was if I called the night before my session (or morning of) and left a message just telling her in a few sentences if something had happened, something I needed to talk about, etc. For me, talking to voicemail isnt too difficult, so it helps. It's certainly nervewracking after, knowing the message is there and she'll get it, but once you do it there's no getting out of it and in my experience, I've always been glad I did it (even if it was uncomfortable). It truly does get easier the more you do it. You might just have to go against everything that feels safe and secure once and just do it, without allowing yourself to stop and think. That's what I do.
Good luck. I know you can do this.
poster:wishingstar
thread:728859
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/729479.html