Posted by mair on January 8, 2007, at 17:34:27
In reply to ***T relationship trigger***Negative thots, posted by muffled on January 8, 2007, at 8:07:05
I think what you're feeling is pretty typical with some of us. My T and I have been around and around this issue so many times. I've felt at different times that I was sucking the life out of her; that I was way more trouble than I'm worth to her; that she would love to figure out a way to terminate me but couldn't because of the intense rejection I'd feel. After endless discussions about this, these feelings are not as prevalent as they used to be.
However, the issue of calling her has been particularly thorny because she finally realized a few years into my relationship with her that my definition of an emergency was that I would have to be poised to kill myself before I thought it was ok to call her. She's tried to reassure me so many times that it's all right for me to call her whenever I'd like to talk to her. She's pointed out to me, correctly, that I don't mind it at all when my own clients call me at home because it isn't an everyday occurence.
Still for all of her reassurances, and in spite of the positive evolution of our relationship, I found that I was really annoyed recently when she left a message on my voice mail at home and at work about rescheduling an appointment time and told me in the message that I should call and leave a message on her office voice mail to confirm the time. I'm sure the suggestion was pretty innocent and maybe she put it that way because she wasn't going to be home if I did call there. All I heard, loudly and clearly was the message of "don't call me at home," which is probably why in over 8 years of seeing her, I've only called her at home once.
This is the type of issue that you really do need to discuss with your T.
mair
poster:mair
thread:720376
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070103/msgs/720549.html