Posted by Daisym on January 2, 2007, at 23:22:26
In reply to what to do? so angry, and it scares me **trigger?*, posted by sunnydays on January 2, 2007, at 22:28:35
Let me try to chanel my therapist:
He would tell you that sometimes being angry is the appropriate response and that keeping your own anger, not giving it away to the other person, is a healthy thing to do. When we are scared of our own anger, we are usually reacting to what we think the anger will make us do. And that usually comes from an old place, where anger remains scary because there was yelling, or hitting or other awful acting out directed to us, or we witnessed.
And there are many people who say that anger is just a mask for hidden grief. Many times this is true. But my therapist gets sort of righteous about this too (he is cute and protective when he does this) and he tells me sometimes anger is just anger. And that is a good thing - anger can make you strong! It tells you that someone is stepping on your limits - personal or otherwise. And in your anger, you can say, "Hey, back off man. You're standing on my limit." (Maybe you have to be there.) Even with your parents, you can use your anger in a respectful way to set limits. Often the best way to handle some one's criticism is to ask them why they feel the need to comment on how you are ripping up paper. And it is OK to say you are angry. "Mom, I felt criticised just now and I'm also feeling angry. I wish you wouldn't say stuff like that." And boy, I know it is so much harder to do than to write here. I'm the queen of "it's OK. I'm fine with it." I think I have an enlarged "be nice" gene. I almost NEVER react in anger and it takes me awhile to label that emotion. Or if I do get angry, it is all mixed in with tears and shaking, etc. I think I posted here that my therapist wants me to work at finding my inner B*tch - *gasp*! He says that when I think I'm being a total b*tch, I'm probably reacting as I should be. Go figure.
It is hard to miss so much therapy and it does make you more tense and touchy. But it sounds like you have good reason to be feeling this way. Hang in there. Another week is almost gone. And don't forget Antigua's suggestion -- beat on a fence with a plastic bat!
poster:Daisym
thread:718732
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/718742.html