Posted by 10derHeart on December 21, 2006, at 0:34:26
In reply to i miss my T, posted by sunnydays on December 20, 2006, at 20:54:04
Your post made me cry. You're so honest about this toipc, and it's also pretty brave to write it so plainly here. Weird how when I can totally relate to the 'little' feelings and missing my T. (every day) in what you say, at the same time, I also see in you (but NOT me, of course) this courage to admit it all and long for it and be sad and say you're sad. Big, adult, brave stuff, all mixed in with that little girl who just wants to rest, relax, snuggle, quit thinking and have someone totally safe love her.
<sigh> or maybe that's just all *my* stuff. But I sure do think I can understand your emotions. It's an ache that's like no other ache.
And what's my excuse? I saw my T. 12 hours ago...yet it can feel like forever and hurts even more the days when they are sooooo exta-kind and gentle, ya' know? Maybe I should ask him to be meaner so I won't hate to leave and miss him so much? Hah - like he could do it. I feel silly, but then posts like yours make me feel like others really do go through this and really do get it. Thank you for that.
Wish I could help. Hope you find comfort and the bad dreams go away. Do you have anything of his? Or can you call and listen to his message, if he has one? Those things help me a little. Sounds like a few of us need Camp Comfort or something like muffled's cave....but I'm stubborn...I want all our T's there, too....
Not to be funny, 'cause I don't think it is at all, but the expression, "T's - can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em," keeps running through my head tonight. Maybe 'cause earlier I was bad....I......[[whispers]] shhhhhhhhhhhh
....don't tell....but I ....................drove by T's house. Haven't done that one in months, but tonight....{shrug} I saw his car. I saw his Christmas lights (very beautiful) Looked all warm and inviting. Felt both better and worse if that's possible. Cried off and on driving home. sheesh...I'm definitely not feeling much over 5 or 6 inside lately.
It's so hard sometimes.
poster:10derHeart
thread:715323
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/715356.html