Posted by LlurpsieBlossom on December 6, 2006, at 12:03:23
In reply to Re: My Mom is RESISTING **suicide abuse triggers*****, posted by sunnydays on December 6, 2006, at 7:36:43
Thank you for your kind responses to my thread.
It's hard huh?
I talked to T yesterday, and pdoc today.
They both said that I'm brave, and that they're really impressed etc. etc.
I know that even a few weeks ago I would not have been strong enough to take these steps. It's hard for me to accept that I am doing a good thing, though. I have a hard time accepting the things that people are telling me not just the bad things, like my Mom's denials and delusions, but ALSO the good things, like how smart, insightful, strong, brave, clever, creative, etc.
It just feels so surreal sometimes. I wake up and it feels like a bad dream, or a good dream, or just unreal. Sometimes *I* feel unreal.
Thank goodness for T who helps keep me grounded- helps me remember who I am. And for pdoc and his pharmacopaeia. Seroquel helps me keep the bad thoughts/voices out of my conscious mind. Klonopin to help with the anxiety attack I had Sunday after the long phone call, and helping me stay a little mellower/less reactive. Stable-ish moods and clear thinking, getting enough sleep. Knowing that I could vent/spew/distract myself/etc. on p-babble...
All of this has made it possible for me to take these steps.
What a week. Feels like half my lifetime has elapsed in the last week.
-Ll
poster:LlurpsieBlossom
thread:710023
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/710870.html