Posted by Frida on June 19, 2006, at 1:36:18
In reply to I'm afraid, posted by Dinah on June 19, 2006, at 1:25:56
Dear Dinah
I hear your fear..but you are not too needy. He's your therapist. He promised to fight for this, to be there for you. He's your T and has a commitment to you...
and he shouldn't be hurting you.. :-(
My T has expressed frustration at me, has sometimes been defensive, but the times it happened we talked about it deeply and i expressed how hurt I was and she validated my feelings and explained why she had reacted a certain way and then did her best to avoid hurting my feelings. I did go through hard phases with her and it was worth it.
10 years is a long time, but he needs to know that he's been hurting you. Have you told him how much he's been hurting you and how much his actions have been affecting you? I think he is acting so defensively and not seeing the real issue here..and his commitment to you..and the pain he's causing you.
and just how hard you've been trying to make this work.I understand about your fears of not being fair. Sometimes it is hard to explain something only with written words,but he's your T...and he shouldn't be hurting you...
and he should be able to stop being so defensive and try to help you with this hurt. Even if he thinks he didn't hurt you. You are feeling hurt and that is what matters. In T, your feelings are the ones that matter. He should be focusing on them...I would like to shout at him: Can't you see how deeply Dinah is hurting????
You are not too needy...this truly shouldn't be this way..
sending you support,
Frida
poster:Frida
thread:657367
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/658573.html