Posted by Tamar on June 16, 2006, at 3:39:12
In reply to Not drunk yet, but working on it, posted by Dinah on June 15, 2006, at 20:36:16
> It is abandonment issues of course. But it's also anger with my own stupidity, and his.
>
> This past Sunday he had two perfect times to mention it (other than when I asked if he had anything he needed to tell me). I told him that it was stupid for us to stay in N.O because of him because he could get a job at any time. And he said that that had always been true, but that he had no plans to do any such thing.
>
> And then after the close of the session proper, when he finally bothered to mention he'd be out of town this week, he could have mentioned that the training class was for his new job.
>
> I'm trying to decide whether to terminate him before or on Sunday.Gosh, it’s even worse than I’d first realised.
I know what you mean about feeling stupid. I always feel incredibly stupid when I allow myself to trust someone and then they let me down. To me it suggests that I’m not worth caring about, and since I knew that I feel for stupid for forgetting and hoping to be loved. Is it like that for you, or is it different?
But of course he’s the one who has been stupid. And yeah, of course you’re angry about that. It also sounds as if he’s somewhat unrealistic about how available he will be able to be for you, probably because he hopes he will be as available as you need him to be. And of course you don’t share his hope because you are basing your expectations on past experience, whereas he doesn’t seem to acknowledge or understand your past experience of his (un)availability.
I imagine you must feel very distressed right now. (((((Dinah)))))
Please stay safe. We love you.Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:657367
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/657507.html