Posted by Tamar on June 7, 2006, at 11:56:01
In reply to acting out big time (sex trigger), posted by wishingstar on June 6, 2006, at 18:34:27
I don't think your thoughts are bad or inappropriate. And I think you're right: if you normally dissociate during sex and you're fairly emotionally detached in general, then you would be able to do it.
I don't think it's particularly unusual for women to think about prostitution. But I'm quite interested in the context in which you began to think about it. You said you were watching Oprah and these young women (some of them children, it seems) were talking about their horrible experiences.
And maybe your thought was that you could survive the same sh*t they're survived. In a way, that seems a very healthy thing to think. You know how awful it would be to be a prostitute, and yet you could survive it. And perhaps you have already survived other awful things; things that were so bad that prostitution actually seems like a better kind of suffering (not matter how strange that might seem). Maybe the emotional negligence you suffered at the hands of people you trusted seems worse than suffering physical discomfort at the hands of strangers.
I've done some research into prostitution, and an overwhelming percentage of prostitutes have been sexually abused as children (more than 75% and perhaps as high as 95% in some populations). But the catalyst for beginning to work in prostitution is almost always financial (or women are forced into it). And apparently most women don't enjoy the attention of the men much; in fact they usually despise the men. But I think in prostitution *fantasies* you're absolutely right: the idea is that the woman is almost worshipped by the men she works with. And in prostitution fantasies the sex is usually not unpleasant, so perhaps that idea is a welcome change from your real life experience of sex.
It seems clear from what you’ve said that you understand very clearly the difference between real prostitution and the sort of prostitution you imagine when you think about it. So I suspect you don’t need to be too scared about making bad decisions. I imagine there’s quite a bit going on at a symbolic level in these thoughts you’re having, and actually it sounds like a good opportunity to explore what it all may mean. If the idea of a better kind of contact with men presents itself as a likely interpretation, then that sounds like a good place to start. Good luck!
poster:Tamar
thread:653771
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060604/msgs/654023.html