Posted by susan47 on June 2, 2006, at 0:25:16
In reply to Is it really harmful to be friends with T ?, posted by happyflower on May 3, 2005, at 10:35:29
Yes I see what you mean. I know I've changed a lot too .. but still not sure of myself, it's really scary, I'm really very scared. But I know I'm in a different place and I hope it's a better one but time will tell, only time can do that, and heal, and bring back hope for love in a future like you've never thought you deserved .. but this T no matter how he turned out, no matter all the bad things I did by phoning over and over and spilling, spilling and gutting myself like a fish, a salmon being gutted that's me ...
Omigod.
I don't know I don't believe this is happening to me but I need it i need it i need this just so much, this feeling of being good, of being wanted, of really being wanted. I want nothing more than that, but I don't know, I just don't understand, but I do know that for the first time in my life, well maybe the second I don't really remember, but I trust guys again, not all of them of course and most of them never to date or anything .. and I'm a lovely person and a really good date and maybe, maybe if I could just get my mind organized a bit better so I don't get so freaked out being alone .. I could have a good life too. Because there's a lot of love in my life, a lot of love is there to take and to give, and I give love a lot, I give it a lot to 'most everybody, and I think most people love me too when they get to know me, that I'm just not all fluffy stuff or stupid stuff or, whatever. What someone else thinks of me is none of my business. My therapist, the one who had such a hard time getting rid of me and wanting to from the first .. well, he taught me that. Even that stupid telephone relationship I had with myself, well that was the thing that healed that and a whole lot of other stuff in me.So I hope he stays the course and does it well, but if he doesn't, you be ready for that. Be ready for it should it happen and if you learn nothing other than how to take care of yourself, you've done everything you ever needed to do.
So there.
poster:susan47
thread:493094
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060526/msgs/651756.html