Posted by fallsfall on December 3, 2005, at 13:21:05
In reply to Re: Question to ponder » fallsfall, posted by Dinah on December 3, 2005, at 9:34:22
My pediatrician remembers me as a "sad child" (he also remembers my mother as being depressed). I don't remember being sad until high school, when I spent hours crying in my room - but I even thought everybody else did that, too. So nothing in my childhood seemed abnormal to me (because for me it WAS normal). In many ways, I still don't understand what I missed, but I do accept that I missed something. My parents are well educated, kind people - but that's not necessarily enough.
But if you asked me, even 9 or 10 years ago - after my depression became disabling - how my childhood was I would tell you it was just fine. But, I'll tell you, my adulthood isn't just fine. I don't "blame" my parents (I'm not angry at them), but I do attribute significant parts of my issues to them (at least I attribute the genesis of my issues to them). I think it helps me to be able to say "I LEARNED these maladaptive strategies from SOMEPLACE (i.e. them, because they were the ones teaching me to grow up), so that means that they are LEARNABLE - and I can therefore RELEARN them differently". If I thought that all of this were innate, I would have much less hope that I could make things different.
poster:fallsfall
thread:583805
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/584973.html