Posted by Dinah on November 11, 2005, at 9:09:30
In reply to how do I say it?, posted by orchid on November 11, 2005, at 7:44:00
"Dad, I love you, and I know you love me. I'm not a little girl anymore, I'm a grown woman with a husband. The way you touch me sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm going to have to ask you not to touch me except (fill in what sort of touches are acceptable). If you do, I'm afraid I'll have to get up and leave each time you do it. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong. I am saying what I am comfortable with and able to tolerate."
And then most importantly, do it. If he touches you inappropriately, say "I'm sorry, Dad. I asked you not to do that, and now I'm going to have to leave. I'll see you later."
Just suggestions of course. It'd come much better in your own words.
But I did something similar with my own father, along the lines of
"Daddy, it upsets me when you yell and scream or threaten to kill Mother. I'm afraid that if you do that, I'm going to have to hang up the phone, or leave the house. I'm sorry. I love you. But I just can't tolerate the feelings that yelling and cursing cause in me." Then I did it. He fussed some, but got the idea and while he wasn't perfect afterwards, he was way better because he knew I meant what I said, and he loved me.
poster:Dinah
thread:577289
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/577688.html