Posted by B2chica on November 8, 2005, at 9:58:17
In reply to Re: I'm afraid (slight trigger), posted by antigua on November 8, 2005, at 6:40:31
antigua, i like what you said here, sex is a very difficult topic. and i like your rules, they reflect mine. i can't do oral sex at all and i don't like it on me either. i agree with the few drinks and i definatly like the being in control thing. for the first 4 or so years of marriage i HAD to be on top. now its better and i can be underneath.
i was so aggitated yesterday and i had therapy, my T said he's never seen me like that and i said "heck, i'm only slightly irritable and aggitated, imagine if i actually got mad, now you know why i don't want to get angry."
but he said he was very happy to see me like that and hopes i continue to feel safe in feeling that way in there. his only rules were (hehe) i can't beat him up, can't break anything of his in his office and can't scream so loud that the people in the front office can hear.
pretty decent rules if you ask me.
anyway i was being very blunt about an inciende that happened this weekend, i won't go into details but my hubbys' been "urging" sex from me for a while so sunday i finally caved and it was absolutly horrible. all i could imagine was my abuser, how it felt, what emotions i felt. all i did was close my eyes tight and prayed for it to be over. never letting my hubby know anything.sorry to make this about me. but i understand that this is all very difficult. and i'll always listen.
take care
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:576259
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/576686.html