Posted by B2chica on June 23, 2005, at 11:41:26
ok, had a tough month and 1/2 in therapy. thought i was getting better. last week my boss wrote me up for unfounded issues and yelled at me three times last week and twice this week. so i sacrificed my work for trying to focus on myself and get through my tough issues.
have setback now. i don't enjoy work anymore. if it were just my boss i could deal with that but what i'm doing feels pointless. meaningless. is it depression, is it the repremand?
i feel utterly useless like i have absolutely no purpose whatsoever to even be alive.
i dont think i'm emotionally suicidal but just numb emotionally.maybe i'm going through a midlife crisis. but i don't know what to do about this. i guess just take it one day at a time but.
i've had thoughts of career change, even considered becoming a therapist (there an unusual concept-haha). but i feel that because my undergrad wasn't in psychology that even if i became a therapist i wouldn't be very good. i feel like i'd have to start from scratch and that would take YEARS!maybe extreme apathy is the word to use. i JUST DON"T CARE!!!!
i feel sad when i think of my husband. what my dying would do to him. ruin a perfectly good life (his cuz i don't care about mine). i feel that all i was meant to do is done.
it's time for me to move on. fortunately i don't have the energy to do anything about it.i feel whiny.
so....what do i do now.
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:517508
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050622/msgs/517508.html