Posted by Racer on May 15, 2005, at 13:35:23
In reply to Another pity part for me, posted by daisym on May 13, 2005, at 23:02:33
You remind me of me, when I stop eating. I pull all my tentacles back in, and there's nothing to me to grab on to, so I can slip away from anything and everything. No predator can catch me.
And I can stay strong, and lean, and hard, and get things done, and FORCE myself through almost anything -- but you know what? All I'm really doing is numbing myself. Am I any happier for not being able to feel? Um... I'm less distressed, because I can't feel it, but you know what? I don't think I am happier... I think happiness is a feeling, too...
DaisyMae, honey, you and I both know that this ain't the way to go. The problem is, as you say, you've lost a lot recently, and it's damned hard to think about risking hurting any more than you already are.
What you're experiencing is not pity, honey -- it's called "grief," and it's natural. You should be grieving, when you've had losses like this. Give yourself permission to grieve, so that you can emerge from the other side of it.
And Daisy? I have an assignment for you, if you want it: sit yourself down, and write a letter to a friend of yours who is experiencing the same stresses and losses you're going through right now. Write it to someone you love, what advice would you give her? How would you suggest that she take care of herself? What would you offer her to hold on to, to help her through this period?
When you've finished writing that letter, read it over and see if you would ever offer yourself the same caring kindness, and good advice? If not, why not?
And then, stop thinking, and try to take your own advice. Be kind to yourself, as you are kind to others.
Be well.
poster:Racer
thread:497568
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050513/msgs/498043.html