Posted by JenStar on May 12, 2005, at 23:33:47
In reply to One more question for all of you **trigger**, posted by pinkeye on May 12, 2005, at 17:22:54
Pinkeye, it sounds like you are very conflicted. You're caught in two worlds -- one that demands that a woman serve a man, and be subservient to him; if she succeeds at being a good wife/caretaker/etc. then she is a "good woman." And then you're also here in the Western culture that says a good "person" is someone who is successful, has a good job, is smart, is attractive, etc. And you're torn, because you have a foot in either world. You're working at a good job (as you said) and are recognized for your achievements. And then you're married to a man who wants the subserviant wife, although he's probably also proud that you do so well, because that is valued here too. So it's hard for you to determine what is best.
But you're not happy being a servant. Being a "good woman" to ME means that you're a strong woman, a powerful woman who knows her mind and gets respect from people. She's a woman who is kind and nice and friendly, but doesn't get trampled upon. She's attractive in spirit regardless of her physical looks. It means being a good mother, if you're a mother; a good sister or daughter; a good wife. It's a person who recognizes her femininity and uses it appropriately. Although defining "good wife" is going to be different to everyone!
I think a good woman is a good person. It does NOT mean that you have to do everything your husband says, or everything that the alpha males in your family say. It does NOT mean being meek.
But I understand that it is different in many parts of India. If you go back there, would it be even more difficult to be the strong independent woman?
JenSTar
poster:JenStar
thread:496916
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/497155.html