Posted by cricket on May 12, 2005, at 7:43:31
In reply to Re: Zero Feelings (Possible Trigger) » cricket, posted by sunny10 on May 11, 2005, at 12:08:22
Hi Sunny,
You're absolutely right. I have incorporated my mother's critical voice inside me. In fact, not just my mother's but my stepfather's some early teachers, my brothers. My self loathing is extensive to say the least.
I think my therapist is trying to get me to have some empathy for that little not yet 5 year old that was sent away to what he calls the "labor camp" So you're right, there's definitely a method to his madness.
Unfortunately, for right now, therapy is such a terrifying experience for me that I still can barely speak at all there. My telling him the conversation I had with my mother was a first for me. Although he got a general history in the first couple of sessions, I've never told him much since then and that was 3 years ago. Unless he was speaking, our sessions have pretty much been conducted in silence.
So right now, after saying all those words last week, I feel like never going back. It was probably too much for me. So taking active control of my therapy is way beyond my capacity.
But thanks Sunny. I will keep everyone updated.
poster:cricket
thread:496131
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/496793.html