Posted by Susan47 on March 30, 2005, at 11:51:08
In reply to Re: tis been awhile, posted by Susan47 on March 30, 2005, at 11:32:50
But at least he stuck it through with Jadah. Imagine if his feelings for her hadn't been sincere, and he dumped her when he'd had enough. At least he stuck it through until she felt good, at least she believes he loves her and did the best for her. That is good in any case. I do hope he hasn't hurt himself or his family life too badly. And if he were smart he'd never tell, he'd see a therapist himself. Yes, I hope he's seeing a therapist.
People have affairs all the time, they do and if we pretend they don't we're lying to ourselves. Yes, there're people who never do, and are happy without doing that. And there're people who do have affairs, extra-marital affairs of the heart and simply satisfying physically ... but you know, these people always learn something. I'm trying to work this out. Because someone I know this happened with, and his wife was unsuspecting until he actually told her, and it hurt her, but I have to say that it changed her for the better, you know. It did. It really made her a more capable, caring, attractive woman ... suddenly, it's like she woke up and went, Wow, I better try harder. Because she had been rejecting him for years. And her hygiene, you know, it wasn't the best, and there were lots of things that weren't fair to him, and he used to tell her that but it never made any difference until she actually had proof of how unhappy he was. He didn't have the affair to hurt her, or to change her, he had it because his heart was aching and his body was unsatisfied and unloved ... these things happen, Dinah, sorry.
poster:Susan47
thread:473243
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050329/msgs/477665.html