Posted by Daisym on February 12, 2005, at 13:17:45
In reply to Re: some other alternatives . . . » Pfinstegg, posted by Aphrodite on February 12, 2005, at 12:15:33
I think my therapist has described it this way: If you *remember* something and don't disclose due to fear or anxiety or worry about how the other person will hear it, then you are essentially keeping another secret. This is, of course, applicable to abuse victims. We talked about emotional abandonment yesterday. If I keep things from him, (like I did my mother), the fact that he *doesn't* know really doesn't matter to my younger self. In her state of attachment, she thinks he *should* know...so if I don't tell him what I'm thinking about, I'm re-enacting. It is complicated but it makes sense. I think I shared that he told me last week, "you need to tell the stories and have someone help you hold all of this. I want to be that someone." It was exactly the right way to say it.
All that said, he doesn't push, except to call me on self-editing. I open my mouth and close it, or stop in the middle of a sentence and he will say, "what were you going to say...or....finish that...or it's OK, go ahead and tell me."
I think it is pretty well documented in trauma recovery that if you don't eventually tell the stories, your body continues to hold them. EMDR tells the stories in a different way, I think. But I think they are still being told.
Again -- I'm not saying every little thing needs to be told to your therapist. Past transgressions, etc. But if you are holding it back, then it is a good sign it is important.
poster:Daisym
thread:456521
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050211/msgs/456788.html