Posted by daisym on January 4, 2005, at 0:24:12
In reply to Re: To All » daisym, posted by mair on January 3, 2005, at 12:07:54
My therapist had two comments about my husband's "jokes." He said he sounds jealous, not in a sexual, relationship way, but rather of the attention I'm giving myself, and not him. He also said that my husband could indeed be asking for help, in a very passive-agressive way. He reminded me that my husband is a grown up and needs to solve his own problems, or be straight with me about the help he needs. I'm not his mommy. So why do I feel like I should fix this for him?
As far as curiosity goes, I think for most spouses it is fear. Fear that you might be unhappy with him, or that your work in therapy might be require him to change as you change.
I don't know your husband, but I can say without hesitation that mine is so wrapped up in his own issues -- health, work, etc. that it doesn't occur to him to be curious. He is very self-absorbed. And since I never know what might set him off these days, I share very little of myself with him. It is sad really. I've described us as two people drowning in side-by-side pools, unable to get out and help the other.
poster:daisym
thread:436863
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041228/msgs/437500.html