Posted by daisym on January 2, 2005, at 16:54:28
I'm stretched this weekend -- for time, for patience and for emotional balance. But...I had to post this. I'm looking for balance.
My husband has been in a hugely bad mood for weeks; he doesn't feel good, he was on steroids and his work environment just stinks. I've vacillated between trying to be understanding, listening for hours on end and staying completely away from him. He came home from work on Friday in a black mood, barely talking to me. And then Saturday morning held me responsible for us not doing anything on New Year's Eve. OK, deep breaths. Yesterday afternoon he cheered up and asked me to go to dinner with him. I didn't want to go, but I said OK, avoiding a fight, right? At dinner he told me he sort of wished I had said no, he would have had more fun going with the guys. I said that hurt my feelings. This is where it got really weird. He made some comment about Oh, well, just take it into therapy with you. And from then on, last night and this morning, he has been picking on therapy and my therapist. "Joking" of course. He even said, "I'm think I'm going to go see this guy too, and not tell him I'm your husband." I know he is yanking my chain and I know that it can't happen, even if he was serious.
But I don't get it AT ALL!!! It feels cruel, like another way to get at me, with underlying anger or resentment. I hope I'm misreading this. But I don't think it is funny. And I don't want to be defensive, that will just stoke the fire. I half wonder if he is jealous, or is he just curious? (btw, he is almost never curious about me or my life when I'm not with him. And he doesn't ask about my therapy.) I just kept it light and said, "Not gonna happen," which is when he said he'd call and not give his real name.
This isn't funny. I know I'm over reacting, but... Someone help me with this!
poster:daisym
thread:436863
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041228/msgs/436863.html