Posted by fallsfall on October 5, 2004, at 12:23:50
In reply to Re: Fighting to relationship » fallsfall, posted by crushedout on October 4, 2004, at 11:43:13
"And I also don't feel like I can leave her and start over with someone else. That feels impossible to me, as it always has."
I understand this feeling (completely). But I also know that it is not true that you couldn't leave her and start over.
If you pretended for a minute that you *could* leave her and see someone else, how would that effect your thinking? If you lived in a magical world where you had one "get out of therapy painlessly" card... You would still have to get to know another therapist, but if you *could* imagine leaving her and not having that be intolerably painful...
If you stay, it needs to be because she is helping you - not because you can't imagine leaving.
Crushed, I've been there. I was able to leave a therapist who I couldn't live without. And it was a good move for me. It *IS* possible. (And it *was* painful for me, I'm not trying to tell you that it wouldn't be hard. I just want you to try to see past the "I can't see a different therapist because I can't leave my current one. So it doesn't matter if my current therapist is helping me because I don't have a choice since I can't leave.")
(((((Crushed)))))
poster:fallsfall
thread:315688
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041002/msgs/399203.html