Posted by mair on August 19, 2004, at 12:55:09
In reply to Re: The Therapeutic Relationship, posted by Susan47 on August 19, 2004, at 8:57:04
Susan - I agree with most of what Dinah said, but I'm not sure where I fit into her equation. I have trouble with defining/understanding/accepting the limits of the therapeutic relationship but I don't think it's because I want something more from my T. I certainly like her very much, and care for her sometimes more than I like, but I'm not tortured by the image of us as social friends, or soulmates, and I don't wish she was my mother or lover or any number of other kinds of relationships. She's stated before that had we not met as T and patient, she could see us as social friends very easily. I think I could too, but it usually doesn't bother me that we can't have that kind of friendship.
She and I have talked about this a fair amount, because I think and I think she thinks also that the view I "cling" to, of being unimportant, is an impediment to therapeutic progress. It's easiest to say that I am as guarded as I can be because I don't trust her not to hurt me. That's probably a part of it although we've also discussed whether I don't want to be important to her because I don't want to worry about whether I'll hurt her or disappoint her. There, is afterall, the practical consideration that the occasionally suicidal me doesn't want to worry about how my demise will affect her.
So I can't easily answer your question except to say that it's something she and I repeatedly discuss. Nonetheless, I get lots of benefits from the relationship, even when I'm so unwilling/incapable of opening myself up to her, and even when the relationship seems so unsettling to me.
What happened with your last T to turn you off so much?
Mair
poster:mair
thread:379308
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040812/msgs/379470.html