Posted by Jadah on August 3, 2004, at 19:25:31
In reply to Re: Susan, posted by starlight on August 3, 2004, at 16:21:51
hi, yes, I have a T in mind if I need to change. Im scared of that though. I dont know if I could ever trust anyone like my T, nor do I think anyone could meet my emotional needs like he does. My concerns: I dont want my T to feel betrayed that I am trying to replace him, I am afraid of strong transference with another T whom would reject me and between the rejection and the longing I dont know if I could get passed that to do good work. My T knows literally everything about me. I dont want to go thrrough that process again of having to repeat all of those painful things, of learning to trust and cry again, of feeling safe with this person, of knowing that they'll be there even outside of the appointments when i need them, feeling judged..... My T goes out of his way to meet my emotional needs when I am doing poorly. He worries about me and takes me seriously, he doesnt question what i am capable of doing and he therefore is there whenever I need him, even if it just means a late night phone call to calm me down, or a quick hug. Sex aside, he is the best goddamn therapist on the face of my planet and believe me, over the years Ive been to many and no one has ever helped me and succeeded in my growth like he has. We have worked together 5yrs. now and he hasnt failed me yet.I dont know. Even the sexual part of it is theraputic, and we never mix business with pleasure, in fact there has been times when ive tried and he has said "no, thats not why Im here" (if i was upset). For now, one day at a time. Believe me though, when this comes crashing down, I WILL definately need everyones support and a shoulder to cry on. I will always love him. I am so grateful that I have found this place, and all of you. It was no accident. Take care of yourself.Talk to you soon.
Jadah
poster:Jadah
thread:267681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040728/msgs/373773.html