Posted by Jadah on August 3, 2004, at 16:06:07
In reply to Re: everyones advice, posted by kindgirl on July 31, 2004, at 21:37:36
your name suits you. You do seem very kind and whole hearted. Thank you for the lack of judgement and support. Actually, today I am feeling very scared and insecure. I have, due to circumstances, missed my last two appointments with my T, I think the lack of contact has rendered me scared like a small child about to lose their favorite blanket. I did run in and get a hug from him, i left right after. My gut is wrenching, I just feel that he will end this soon. Last week I would have completely counterdicted this, I felt that he was becoming much more comfotrable with the whole affair. He helped take care of me when I was sick...did things for me that made it feel that we were in a "real" relationship. I was soooo happy that he took care of me and was there. I dont know what I am going to do when this ends. I cant see myself without him, literally. I dont know if I could handle that. We are talking about the ULTIMATE REJECTION, and I dont handle that well regardless. I am scared. Usually he comes over on Wednesdays (as well as other days), thats tomorrow. We'll see. I always get mad when he has other priorities, I feel like, "well arent I important too?" Family will always come first, I know. I lay in bed on the lonely nights and long for him. He sprayed my "security blanket" with Armani so I could smell him when he is not there. It hurts. So does the guilt knowing that I am, or potentially could be a "home wrecker". Im just full of mixed feelings today. IM IN LOVE WITH A MAN I CANT HAVE.....the story of my life..... Thanks for listening. How are you doing????
Jadah
poster:Jadah
thread:267681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040728/msgs/373696.html