Posted by starlight on July 29, 2004, at 16:04:46
In reply to Re: The Experiment Continues ? starlight, posted by daisym on July 29, 2004, at 13:41:21
Does he charge you for this? It's just so hard for me to imagine. I'm so good at appearing strong on the outside, but sometimes on the inside I feel like I'm falling apart. And, I'd be afraid of becoming dependent on my therapist. I'm like you in that I've always had to be strong to survive. I'm the first born and come from a hell house so strength is a big part of my identity. I think if I appear to be weak I'm a lesser person, although I know that's not really true.
I also think that having that need to be strong and self sufficient is very draining and keeps me from connecting with people. I notice that when I have problems with people I become very superficial and protect myself by refusing to connect on a deeper level, which leaves me feeling ensures my aloneness and protection. I've learned to like my aloneness, THAT's something that protected me early on from the abuse in my house. It was better to be alone than to be in the house with my unpredictable father. So time alone was soothing and people were scary. I prefer dogs! My husband has even commented on the superficiality of my relationships. I care about people alot, but don't want to get hurt, so I consider that a self protective mechanism.
Still - calling my therapist would probably be beyond me.
starlight
poster:starlight
thread:371026
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040728/msgs/372095.html