Posted by gardenergirl on March 2, 2004, at 18:24:34
In reply to Re: To those who have crossed the line » Fallen4myT, posted by tinydancer on March 2, 2004, at 12:14:43
I think it is absolutely true that a peson's T could be the one they were meant to be with, or at least someone they could fall in love with if they had met under different circumstances. We meet our mates in all kinds of places. But in my opinion, the bottom line is, the relationship, however much it was meant to be, *cannot* happen while the therapy relationship is going on. It is completely unethical, and would be doing damage to the client, whether it was intended or even perceived or not.
It's very sad that a person might meet their mate and discover that they cannot act on it. Although this is not directly relevant, I once did an intake on someone who I would LOVE to be friends with. It's very sad to me that a friendship with her would not be appropriate as long as she is receiving services at my center. Although I am not her T, I was involved in her case.
There are strict rules about extra-therapy relationships between T's and clients. These are in place for two main reasons: first, to protect the client from damaging boundary violations. Second, it *does* allow for a relationship to develop between a T and a client, but *only* after two years have past after the termination of the therapy relationship. Even then, it is recommended that such a relationship not occur, for you can never "take back" what has happened in therapy.
So, if it truly is meant to be, then therapy should be terminated between the T and the client as soon as possible. The client can then see another T. After two years have past, if it is meant to be, then it is acceptable and less risky for both the client and the T to explore a romantic relationship.
This is what has been hammered into my head in school, and what I believe wholeheartedly. Knowing this does not take away the potential pain of knowing that what might be a beautiful relationship must either wait or must never happen, but it is what we face when we begin therapy, both as the client and the T.
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:318690
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040225/msgs/319480.html