Posted by Racer on March 2, 2004, at 12:52:38
In reply to Re: It depends on what you mean by working, posted by Dinah on March 1, 2004, at 11:14:43
Absolutely great points there, Dinah.
Here's my stance on it, as it looks from my immediate perspective:
Yes, I am sexually attracted to my pdoc (although not my therapist), and yes, I believe it is something other than pure transference. He is, physically, My Type - the kind of man who looks and moves and behaves and speaks in a way that always turns me on. Beyond that, however, there is "transference" -- he's in a position to take care of me, limited in that it's only psychopharmacotherapy, but still a position of nurturing, if you will. That means that I'm looking at him from the perspective of vulnerability. Whether or not I would have been just as sexually attacted to him had we met at a party, that fact alone skews the whole equation.
Secondly, even if I could get past the visceral knowledge that KindGirl's experience is directly analogous to my current situation, I know that any sexual contact would be devastating to me. I'd be looking for him to carry that caretaking role into the bedroom, and that's not realistic. The let down would be devastating to me.
And, as Dinah says, the consequences for him would be absolutely catastrophic. He'd lose his license, he'd lose his career, he'd probably face incarceration, and he'd lose his ability to serve and heal people. All that for a quick roll in the hay? I do care for him enough to recognize that as an insurmountable obstacle to any sexual contact, or even a social relationship. No matter how satisfying I think it would be to sit around with him and some of my friends, sipping wine and talking about everything from sociology to stupid cat habits, it would destroy him in so many ways.
So, I do fantisize about him. I do imagine scenarios in which we cross that line. But I also know that it is a line we will never cross, never be able to cross, and I trust him never to try to cross that line, as well.
Great point, Dinah, about the damage such an act would have on the other party concerned. Thank you for bringing it up.
poster:Racer
thread:318690
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040225/msgs/319377.html