Posted by NThompson on June 25, 2003, at 1:15:52
In reply to Re: For Dinah, Justyourlaugh and noa » NThompson, posted by Dinah on June 24, 2003, at 22:14:45
Dinah,
You are absolutely right. Kids are a great motivator. In fact it was my 6 year old daughter who saved my life. Even though she doesn't know it. I was taking the pills one after another, thinking how I was such a horrible mom and wife and I was so not able to handle day to day events and I was hiding everything. I didn't realized how many pills I had taken, I was sort of in a trance. I found out I had taken the equivelant to 28 pills. My daughter walked into the living room (my two were in the bedroom playing) and she said, "Mom I'm getting a drink" and then yelled, "Mom, I love you!" And that is when I realized what I was doing and I called the Crisis who then called my husband, the police and the ambulance. I then went to the hospital and the rest is history...
As for a lease on life. It took me almost loosing my life to realize that I want it. I just have to learn how to live without the depression.
I still have boughts with it, but I do believe the meds are starting to help a little. I can walk out front a not freak out or answer the phone when I don't know who is calling and even telling the person I am me when they ask for me and I don't know the voice. I almost lost everything due to depression. I mean the house the truck, electricity, phone, credit rating... you get the picture. My house was actually in forclosure.. do you believe that! I hid anything that came in the mail without opening it. I would tell my husband that eveything was paid when it wasn't. I would say okay today is the 27th, the mortgage has to be paid by the 1st. The first would come and go, it would be the 22nd and I wouldn't remember when or where the month went. I just couldn't function and nobody knew. I hid that too. From my husband, my family, and my friends. I was all smiles and giggles when everyone was around. The perfect little wife and wonderful friend who never got mad at anyone or judged them. Which I wouldn't even if I wasn't depressed, God knows I'm not perfect! So I can't in all honesty judge anyone else. Everything was an act. I was so tired of it too. Finally, I broke. And you want to hear the damndest thing about it... my husband is still with me. He loves me so much that he is standing by me to get me the help I need to feel better. I feel so lucky that I have such a great husband! Everything is out on the table now. He knows exactly what is going on in our lives. And in the checkbook! And I talk to him about how I feel. Good days and the bad. He will actually call me from work just to see if I am doing okay. He never did that before. He would call only if he needed something and that was it. But he is really concerned.
So as long as the meds work, I will take them. I really want to grow old with my husband. We have been married for almost 7 years now and together for 8 and a half years total. I got lucky. I think if we can survive this then we are definately staying together for a long time.So Dinah, what made you realize that you needed help. Or that you had depression. It actually took me going over the deep end to realize it. If you feel comfortable enough telling me, I would love to hear it.
Take care of yourself and I am here for you if you need to talk.
NThompson
poster:NThompson
thread:230170
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030529/msgs/236864.html