Posted by sandyann on July 10, 2007, at 17:55:18
I have posted recently about my only brothers death.
I have been under the care of a psycharist for 30 years mostly anxiety and depression.
I have never had grief like losing my brother.
It happend suddenly and he lived in a different state but we were very close.
He was dead three days before anyone went to look for him.
I got to his house the day after I was notified.
Over the phone the cornor had told my husband it looked like a heart attack.
I never expected to see any blood but where he dropped dead there was a spot of blood that was a print of his body. His house smelled and the blood was a different odor. I was shocked to see this and I had taken klonpin to able to not scream from my grief. When I saw this I screamed for a long time until my husband called the cornor to find out why there was so much blood. It never made any since to me.
Now it has been since Aug and I am not getting any better. I smell the odor of his body decomposing before I am awake. My psycharist does not think much of EMDR but I have read positive things about. I did go see a therapist trained in it and she would not treat me because she said I was not stable enough.
I called the EMDR association and they said she might not be as qualified to handle someone like me.
I don't want to do ECT that my psycharist suggested and now I dont' see how I can because it is in a different town that is 50 miles away and my husband works nights and I would have to be there at 6:30 am until noon.
I have a therapist in the town we moved from and is is very kind and thougtful but with this he just watches me cry. I keep reliving it over and over and I don't know if I am going to make it unless I get something besides drugs and they are not working much.
Please any suggestions I would appreciate so much.
sandyann
poster:sandyann
thread:768791
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20070414/msgs/768791.html