Posted by Mijafelix on July 13, 2005, at 13:26:54
In reply to time to tell my story, posted by JLynn on February 21, 2005, at 1:00:41
JLynn>>> If your still reading i'd like to chat, I ahve a very similar situation on my shoulders at this very moment. NOt exactly the same but similar, my mom had just turned 53 a month before she was killed by a drunk driver, she ahd recently retired and moved to another state with my step father, she was killed in 12/03 right before x-mas, it was a side impact collision, her scull was detached from her spine, they used the jaws of life to remove her from the vehicle, then they used the electric shock - zap things to bring her back, well her heartbeat at least, when they removed her from the vehicle she had no vitals, she was in essence dead, it still kills me to say that, write it - anyhow, she was airlifted to the trauma center in that state ICU neurology - they did brain surgery to trya nd reconnect her scull to her spine, the Dr.'s were pretty frank about the grim situation, her injuried were basically the same of Christopher Reeves (superman) who somehow regained conciouseness after being in a legthy come, she had no brain activity, the only reason she was alive was because she had a strong enough heart to be able to keep beating was they zapped her, surgery unsuccesful - almost 10 days later still no brain activity, she's in ICU on a respirator, I am in another state with my husband and daughter camped out at her bedside - as a family, me, my older sister and step father decide to remove her from life support, she will never some out of the coma, she will never open her eyes, and so on......OK I really needed to tell my story too - Sorry to go on and on, here is where the similarity comes in, they ahd no will, my mom was always saying they needed to get a will done, they liked to travel within the US quite a bit frequent trips from state to state, they had just bought a piece of land and a fairly lovely house in the mountains - my step dad is the executor of their estate but he tried to swindle us, he tried to tell my sister and I we were only entitled to 1/4 of their estate and that then we(my sister and I) would split that amount?? It didn't seem quite right to us, we called around to some law firms in the state where they lived, and he was telling the truth, we are entitled to 1/2 of their total estate, he tried to ask us to take X amount of $$, and be happy with that until he died and then we would get what we deserved he said, keep in mind he has 2 other grown kids from a previuos marriage and they have kids of their own too, just as my sister and I do. My mom was married to him for 11 years togehter for 15, she was my mom for 28 years and my sisters for 33, she divorced my dad after 13 years of marriage and was a single parent who worked to give us the things in life she never had, she didn't work to give to him, you know. I am sure your mom would want you to get what is hers, it should now be yours, I am not telling you, you should go out and get a lawyer even though, there are some out there that will not ask for any upfront costs if they believe you will get a monetary settlement in the end, we went that route and have been in a probate knock down drag out since last August, our lawyer screwed up, forgot to file some papers by a certain date, step dad was able to start selling their/her stuff - of course jsut to spite us, found out yesterday he sold it to his brother, what a crock of shi*, to his brother which really means he still has it all. He never cheated or anything like that he was just very controlling and jealous, never wanted her to give us her attention, always pouted and wouldn't interact when we were around, after she died he acted like we meant the world to him and he wanted to be sure to keep a relationship going, all until the estate settling came up and we wouldn't accept him low ball offer. Just wanted to tell you my story maybe i could be of some use to you. I am so sorry to hear of your loss, I know how hard it is to have to say goodbye to your mom, and to watch her suffer must have been very painful.Keep your head up, try to smile when you think of her instead of crying, i know that is a really hard one, but she would want you to smile, i am sure. Peace
poster:Mijafelix
thread:461129
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20041230/msgs/527131.html