Posted by bethesdabob on March 28, 2005, at 11:44:50
Barb was an epileptic and bipolar, she woke up and told me how lousy she felt (constipation, nausea, sweats, nausea, tightness in chest), asked me to take the kids the school - when I got back an hour later she was laying next to the bed, lifeless eyes staring at the ceiling, vomitus covered her face and chest.
Fifteen months later I kind of feel like Russell Crowe standing on the deck of my wooden sailing ship, I look behind the boat and I see that my ship has only just recently emerged from the large dark fog bank that stretches across the horizon behind me, the sun warms my face and my sails are beginning to fill with wind, don't know where I am but am underway looking for a port to pull into and reprovision.
Several things come to mind looking back at all this:
- just because someone dies it does not mean that they are no longer with you, they live with you everyday in your hearts and in your thoughts.
- many people say to you that they feel sorry and want to be of any assistance that they can and let them know what they can do, but when you ask for help they are not available.
- folks think that it is easy to bounce back, that you recover from your mates death like you recover a skinned knee.
- most people that you meet have absolutely no idea what it is like to lose someone so close to you like a spouse, have no idea what you're going through.
- the people that have comforted me the most have been other people that have experienced the same kind of loss within my widow/widower's group, find that now get much comfort in helping recent widows/widowers reconcile to their loss.
poster:bethesdabob
thread:476735
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20041230/msgs/476735.html