Posted by mair on January 30, 2005, at 13:02:43
In reply to Loss of a child...My son, posted by adagiolover1 on January 30, 2005, at 11:29:50
To say that the death of a child is every parent's nightmare, is a severe understatement. Nothing fills me with a greater sense of panic than even thinking about it.
There was a woman in my town who's son died very suddenly in a camping accident in Mexico. His girlfriend was pregnant with his child. The woman I know took in the girlfriend (whom I don't think she even knew) and frankly, sort of took over the raising of this child. This became her life. How don't quite know how this has worked out for the child's mother, who doesn't seem to be around much. Maybe she was sort of chased off by the suffocation of her boyfriend's mother.
I understand how it might be difficult to feel a connection to your grandchild, but I think you need to keep working at this, because someday that child is very much going to want to know about his/her father and the child will need to have that connection. And maybe that connection will help you no matter that the baby is such a painful reminder now.
When I first came on this Board, the 18 or 19 year old daughter of a long time poster was killed in a pedestrian accident. I think it helped him that he had a younger child who had to be tended to. How old is your other child? How has he or she dealt with the loss?
I'm glad that you see yourself as starting to move on. I'm sure your son't death will represent a huge hole in your life for the remainder of your life but maybe you can fill it in a little anyway by finding meaning in other places.
I have all the admiration in the world for you for having stuck things out as long as you have.
Mair
poster:mair
thread:450118
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20041230/msgs/450151.html