Posted by alexandra_k on January 10, 2005, at 0:28:27
I guess that means my manic / hypomanic / whatever is over.
Woke up in the small hours in the morning with a majorly runny nose too... hayfeaver I think. Been running all day. Been through half a box of tissues already.
But I can't tell if my eyes are watery or if I am crying.
I have been given a 6 month extension on my thesis. Thank god. Now I can throw it out and start again. I don't like it. It is crap. Hard to read. Too dense. I want to write so people can understand. Not just one or two people. Everybody. I am not very good at that. All day I would write for a bit and say 'thats 1% done, thats 2% done' etc. Only got to 2. Oh well, I have 6 months :-)
I grieve that my parents never loved me
That I was never allowed to have any friends
That I was never taught how to make friends
and keep them
I grieve that I will probably never feel comfortable around people
Or in a healthy relationship
That I will never be able to just be
Without escaping into my head
I grieve that I have never really felt loved
That I have never really loved
That I probably never will be capable of that
Ah well. Such is life.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:439982
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20041230/msgs/439982.html