Posted by gardenergirl on July 4, 2004, at 22:50:56
In reply to One last chance, posted by sfmom on July 2, 2004, at 23:45:46
I'm sorry you are facing this right now. It sounds like you have a lot going on. I think Jai's advice (as usual) is great. Just being there, letting the person know you are there if necessary, and saying something simple is fine. I went to see a friend of mine who was in an ICU unit dying of AIDS a few years ago. It was so hard for me to see him like that, and initially, I didn't feel comfortable going too close to him or touching him, because he just didn't look like himself. And I was afraid I would hurt him. But it got easier when I just started talking. I said hello, told him I was there, and told him that my husband to be and I had set a wedding date. He was not very conscious and could not speak, but I believe he responded, as I heard his breathing changing slightly, like a little, glad sigh. I was glad, later, that I said goodbye.
In the moment, it may seem surreal. Just keep breathing and keep it simple.
I don't know how old your daughter is, but children do have questions. Maria Shriver wrote a book for children about family members dying. I wish I knew the name of it, but it looked really good. There are probably several good ones out there that can help if she continues to have questions.
And please remember to take extra care of yourself. Travel and buying a house are stressful enough themselves. Dealing with the pending loss of a family member certainly adds to that.
Take care,
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:362736
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20040220/msgs/363139.html