Posted by zenhussy on November 29, 2003, at 11:45:17
In reply to is my father dead~i have no idea, posted by slinky on November 29, 2003, at 5:38:36
> ..I awoke got up and for a few seconds I thought I was expecting him to arrive at my door--freaky.
> I often see his face and tell him to f--koff - I wasn't supposaed to be born but he put me here on this planet and deserted me left me alone with a crazy mother.
> Past has gone but it emerges at a time when you don't need more pain...doesn't allow me to grow up.
> Left with big emptiness and a mood/personality disorder i'm trying to control.
> I find it so hard to feel gratitude for what i have today..but lack of interest and ongoing pain and the longing for it all to end.
> When I don't feel the music- it's time.
> So that's my whine.
> This life has to be a joke HA F''''ing HA! I long to laugh.
> Suppose I' better go shopping~
> Upside down smileSlinky,
You wrote most of my life right there. Zowie. Thanks for sharing that.
I don't see it as a whine at all. I see that as honest insight and an opening to the pain which makes way for healing.
You're a grown up who is always growing. I've seen that in my lurking 'round these here boards over the years. You're cool beans chickie. = )
zenhussy
poster:zenhussy
thread:284917
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20030903/msgs/284973.html